Whats the point of keeping friends when i march to the beat of my own drum?

So, its been a long time in the making, this journal entry. But Ive finally sorted out everything I wanted to say. In fact, it all comes down to a great game I like to call:

Credibility Poker

Thats right! Come take a seat and be dealt a hand at the table.

If youve just tuned in; In what has been an unprecedented series upset, player K last week left the competition. After the final hand of the previous round, after losing and winning back all but 50 chips they took their winnings and left the competition, forcing an early series grand final between players E and F.

Earlier in the round, several key members of the competition left the table after accusations of collaboration and falling in league with remaining player E. Players J and M were able to leave the competition with all chips in hand. Just the week before, player H left the competition disgraced after several bad hands and even worse bets.

So with the loss of K, the withdrawals of J and M, we come to the tense showdown throwdown between E and F, one the reperesentative of a big name production company, the other a successful individual who has come a long way in a short amount of time.


The rules are standard Texas Hold Em, however this deck of cards reflects the actions of the players and not the original 4 suits. As the players gamble with their credibility this is certainly one of the more lucrative of poker games.

The players are dealt their cards, each giving a quick glance at them. You can almost see their minds ticking over as they begin to plan and strategize. Player F opens the bets with 200 points, not a bad opening in this high-stakes grand final. Player E meets the bet.

The first of the three table cards are turned.



Both players adjust their cards, checking them again before gauging the reactions of the other. Both players seem unfazed by this card, however it looks as though player F may have the edge for now.

Player F raises the bet to 400 points, player E pauses, considering their cards before meeting the bet once again. It seems the playing styles of these two opponents are quite evenly matched. Whilst player F pushes their bets, hinting at a strong hand, player E keeps up with what could turn out to be a bluff.

The second of the three table cards are turned.



This time it seems that player E looks to be more satisfied with the turnover of the card, player F places a second bet of 400 points, playes E, for the first time in the competition, raises her bet to 600 points. Player F raises their bet to 600, confident in their hand. Player E looks to be quite calm an collected as the dealer deals the third table card.

The third of the three table cards are turned.



WOAH! Both players seem pleased with this card. Before their cards are revealed, the final round of bets are made. Player F seems more than happy to raise the stakes to 1000 points, looking to edge player E out of the competition for good. Player E looks confident in their cards, pushing the bet up to 1200 points.

Player F takes a moment to think. Will they back down and allow player E to take the championship? With one last inquisitive look at their cards and at their opponent, player F pushes all of their credibility points into the pot.

YES THAT’S RIGHT FOLKS! PLAYER F HAS GONE ALL IN! Without a second thought, so has player E, this is unbelievable! Both players have gone all in and this poker match with end with what cards the players were holding.

Player Fs cards are revealed.



Player Es cards are revealed.




The live audience erupts into cheers as player E stands up and pulls the pot towards them. Whilst both players played an excellent game of poker, in the end it was the Moral High Ground straight flush that won over player Fs two pair.

Our correspondent in the high-stakes room hands the microphone to player E, offering them the chance to recount the hand and their thoughts.

I couldn’t believe it. At the beginning of the hand I thought I could pull off a high pair but nothing else. But when that last card was turned I knew I had it.

Keeping the moral high ground throughout all of the arguments that took place on the internet on the vf site about [subject removed]. Its just been this fucked up, stressful, mess that has pushed me to be a better person, and with all of these credibility points I will be able to do that.

Thank you, to everyone who believed in me, supported me and ultimately was there for me when I needed them. Thank you!


And with that we leave the 2006 series of Credibility Poker. We hope you will all tune in for our next series, which hopefully wont begin for a long time. Back to you in the studio. Fuckers.